Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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