Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
