It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
