Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
