make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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