Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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