you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
