i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
