they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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