I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
