she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize