Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize