I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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