I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
