did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
