You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
