it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
