oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
