One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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