I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
