is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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