Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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