She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
