u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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