How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
