Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
