...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
