I love black thongs
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
