I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
