That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
A+ Viking dick
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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