Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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