I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
