well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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