they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
