Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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