literally had 100 drinks last night.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
