Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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