my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
