discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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