redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
