Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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