What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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