You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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