come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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