Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
