We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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