i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
