They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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