we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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