Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My vagina just recognized that song.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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